The Gut Check No.483: Your Team Stinks, Now What?

Matt Waldman shares ways to transform your fantasy squad from September Zero to December Hero. 

Your team stinks. At least that's what you think after going 0-1 and you saw discouraging signs from multiple players on your roster while bemoaning the success of players you could have drafted.

My first piece of advice: Stop being a drama queen.

One bad week is not the sign of your fantasy apocalypse—unless it's a convenient reason to give up in 4-6 weeks like 60 percent of the fantasy football-playing world when they realize in early October that they didn't draft a plug-and-play contender. If so, don't let the door hit you in the backside on the way out.

My second piece of advice: Bookmark this article for the late September-early October when it's clearer that your team may have a problem.

If you want to contend after starting in a hole, you have to compete. I'm going to show you how, but it's going to take work. Like your draft, not everything is going to work as planned. You'll have to scrap for every opportunity to make your team better.

Step One: Does Your Team Have real Problems?

The draft is an exercise in vanity that's a lot like you or one of your family going to the department store to buy clothes. The curve-friendly mirrors and lighting make everything look better than it is and you ask the sales clerks to validate your most deluded questions rather than giving it to you straight.

This is really slimming for my thighs, isn't it?

Have you seen that the draft experts in big media believe Mitchell Trubisky will mature with experience?

Do you think this shade of red accents my autumn undertones?

LeSean McCoy had the worst rushing season of his career, so Damien Williams is better, right?

Does this make my butt look big?

If JuJu Smith-Schuster was good without Antonio Brown in the lineup for a game and a quarter, shouldn't he be fine without Brown for a season?

Fortunately, vanity-induced buzzes usually last just long enough for you to realize midway through your first full day of wearing a new outfit that you look like a clown balloon at a Thanksgiving parade. So with that in mind, welcome to early Week 2 Bozo, here's a pair of sweatpants and a jar of cold cream to get that grease paint off your face.

For those of you who still can't tell if your team had a funny week or two, or you just witnessed all 20 of your players emerged from a Volkswagen Beetle and have a strong suspicion that the show you've feared is about to begin, here are common symptoms that your draft went bad and your team needs help:

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