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Random Shots From Week 9 - Footballguys

Joe Bryant with the notable and/or humorous side of Week 9

Hi Folks,

We do a ton of insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with smart people thinking deeply for you.

This is not one of those features.

This is Random Shots and it's a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I manage. Here's hoping it has some value for you.

We'll see. Now let's get to it.


The Browns are looking for a new head coach to develop Baker Mayfield.

Somewhere in Arizona...

This is as political as I'll get this week.

For you guys that aren't Harry Potter fans.

Thanks to Footballguy David Dodds for that one.


Thanks to NFLMemes for that one.

And because we can't just appreciate something for what it is, the Mullens to Favre comparisons were rolling before the team could shower.

Can we give the guy ten minutes before we lay that on him?

Plus, he seems like a good dude and I loved his emotion after the game, saying, "It was everything I dreamed of". And then immediately following with, "You know it's only one game though. Which is very important".

Rock on, Nick Mullens.

Throwing you a curveball this week with the Music Note. If you've read these before, you know I'm mostly into raw and unpolished authentic Americana or Rock and Roll. Oftentimes with not overly famous bands. Today's song is none of that. But it's fun. Genius by LSD featuring Sia, Diplo and Labrinth is everything a fun pop song should be. With 75 million views, I doubt this is new to you. But it's been in my head all week and I'm passing to you. You're welcome.

Oh, Canada.

The NFL relaxed their celebration rules and that's been fun. We've got a long ways to go though before we get to the CFL.

Thanks to Footballguy Steve Fisher for that one.

Some teams can't handle a power rush game. Others can't defend the deep ball. The University of Texas seems unable to handle coaches rocking the "Business In The Front And Party In The Back".

God Bless Andy Reid.

Good Florida.

Bad Florida.

And a reminder you're not always on top of the Food Chain. And to not taunt alligators. As if you needed a reminder...

Note to ESPN, can we please have more Louis Riddick?

Eric Weddle shaved.

Because I know you need to know that kind of thing.

Apparently Duke Johnson Jr GMs, Hue Jackson actually did hate you.

Thanks to Footballguy Clayton Gray for that one.

Dalvin Cook is the fastest player in the NFL on the field this year.

Tyreek Hill says...

College Football Note.

Alabama destroyed LSU at Death Valley Saturday night.

Which prompted LSU five star recruit offensive lineman Kardell Thomas to tweet:

Easy, Tiger.

Ben Roethlisberger and JuJu Smith-Schuster covered the cleat spectrum Sunday.

Roethlisberger with the solemn respect for the recent tragic shooting.

And Smith-Schuster with some much-needed lightness professing his love for Chipotle. Complete with the foil wrap.

Well done, Fellas.

That's a long way for Curtis Samuel to run.

Lamar Jackson is dead to Joe Flacco.

This explains some of those Christian McCaffrey runs.

Thanks to Footballguy Brian Sumner for that one.

New England wide receiver Josh Gordon downplayed the fact he played after popping back in his dislocated finger. "I guess it's like a freak accident, nothing too crazy," he said. "One of the slant routes, I think some pressure fell on it and it dislocated, so I popped it back into place a couple of times during the game. It's fine."

Predictably, the internet freaked out.

Torry Holt says "Hi".

Most formulas for rating performance can be broken.

Nathan Peterman broke the Quarterback Rating.

Thanks to @Needles56 for that one.

Add "John Harbaugh on the hot seat" to list of things I don't understand.

I've found looking at things from other perspectives helps.

Was there a fan in Pittsburgh, Cincinnati or Baltimore happy to see Hue Jackson fired? I doubt it.

If my team has to face Baltimore each year, I'd love to see Harbaugh fired.

It's a beautiful game of inches.

Unless you're a Browns fan here. Then it sucks.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Mo Salah are two of Soccer's greats. Performing at their elite level requires a ridiculous amount of talent.

Sculpting statues of elite soccer players apparently requires less talent.

NBA players on the bench have to be alert.

Michael Thomas endeared himself to all the Old Timers with the Joe Horn retro Cell Phone celebration.

Including Horn.

New England wide receiver Julian Edelman with a sweet pass to James White Sunday.

“It’s always nice to throw a pass,” Edelman told reporters after the Patriots’ 31-17 win. “I’m just mad that James [White] didn’t get in. I would’ve had a better stat line. I definitely felt the crowd get fired up after that.”

I think my favorite part was Tom Brady admitting he didn't know what he was doing as a blocker.

“You get out in space, I have no idea what the hell’s going on,” the quarterback said postgame. “I don’t know what’s illegal to hit or dive or cut. I thought, ‘No way the ball is getting to me.’ And next thing you know, James is running by me and I said, ‘S***,’ just as he’s running by me because I probably could have made a play to get him a touchdown, but you live and you learn.”

Some of the Red Sox players visited Gillette Stadium Sunday night before the Patriots game. The line of the week was Red Sox utility player, Brock Holt shaking hands with Bill Belichick in the locker room before the game asking him, "You gonna put pants on?"

The Marcus Mariota / Dion Lewis fake was maybe the prettiest thing I saw this week.

Another look.

I'm surprised more quarterbacks aren't better at this. I get it, not every player has the arm talent to drop a 30-yard pass into a bucket. But this feels like it's more effort and desire.

Lions head coach Matt Patricia asked a reporter last week to be more respectful and not slouch at the press conference.

Reporter: “Why do you think this move makes your franchise better?”

Patricia: “Ah, well, you know. Do me a favor just kinda sit up, just like, have a little respect for the process. Every day you come and ask me questions and you’re just kinda like you know, ‘gimme this.’ “

Reporter: “I’m sitting …”

Patricia: “I’m asking just to be a little respectful in this whole process.”

Reporter: “Okay, that’s fine.”

Patricia: “So ask me a question professionally and I’ll answer it for you.”

The lesson there: Be nice to people who buy ink by the barrel.

Demaryius Thomas did not hold back when talking about his new team in Houston compared to Denver: "I ain't a part of that no more. We like to win over here."

I judge coaches primarily by what they can do with the talent they're given. It's why I think Bill Belichick is a vastly superior coach to Nick Saban who gets the equivalent of five first round picks every year. And that's no knock on Saban, clearly one of the all-time great, or greatest among college coaches.

The latest example from Belichick is what he's done with Cordarrelle Patterson. From USA Today:

"Take Patterson for example. He is a bad route-runner but can do serious damage with the ball in his hands. So Belichick and his staff have put him in positions where he can get the ball in his hands without having to get himself open. The easiest way to do that? Just hand him the ball on a running play. Against the Packers, Patterson needed only 11 carries to rack up 61 yards and a touchdown. As crazy as it sounds, the receiver is probably the team’s best short-yardage option going forward. Who would’ve thought? Belichick. That’s who."

I don't know much about Hockey. But I know it's not good when your Hockey team outscores your Football team.

Thanks to @Needles56 for that one.

I'm with Chris Vernon here. I bet Amari Cooper is just glad to be back on television.

Golf Note for this Week.

Meet Bryson DeChambeau.

ESPN reports DeChambeau won the latest PGA Tournament on Sunday in Las Vegas, despite "ripping part of his hand off," the night before.

"I was freaking out,'' he said, according to ESPN. "I ripped part of my hand off, which is nice."

Naturally, someone "ripping part of their hand off" requires more detail.

From Sports Illustrated: "DeChambeau was invited to the Golden Knights hockey game Saturday. There, he "rang the siren" ahead of the third period. When he looked at his hand, he had a blister."

He said he rang the siren too vigorously, which caused the blister.

DeChambeau found himself in quite the pickle.

"So now I'm like, 'Wow, I'm really in some doo-doo, not in a good place,''' DeChambeau said. "Essentially tried to put some lotion on just to moisturize it a little bit again.''

When lotion wasn't enough, he eventually resorted to the drastic measure of taping his hand. DeChambeau said it was manageable, despite some moments of pain.

Again, Torry Holt says "Hi".

And no, this isn't a macho thing where the sport with the most injuries rules. That would probably be Hockey or Rugby or MMA. The "Won the tournament after ripping part of his hand off" thing just caught my eye.

Save yourself the angry email, Spalding.

Jason Witten was awfully good at Football. Sweet tribute to him Monday night in Dallas.

Chris Johnson officially retired this week.

I'm with @thecheckdown, you know a guy's fast when he outruns the camera.

Michael Irvin was fired up.

Irvin's been open about his past indiscretions and troubles from years ago. And I don't want to make light of them at all.

But seeing Michael Irvin here sober, I'm just thankful he made it through the wild years alive.

Big move in Detroit for initials. As far as I know, it's the first time an AA has been replaced by ZZ.

Thanks to Footballguy Devin Knotts for that one.

It's just one game. But I'm with Bleacher Report. Duke's about to be a PROBLEM.

My "Never Julio" take's been well documented here. But on a serious note, this was fun. As you know, Jones scored his first touchdown Sunday and the team's response was awesome.


Wrapping with this one.

Floyd Mayweather is fighting Tenshin Nasukawa, a Japanese Kickboxer, on pay per view on New Year's Eve.

Because Floyd Mayweather.

Naturally, Conor McGregor responded on Instagram. About the way you'd expect. Here's the censored version:

“Is that a tracksuit or a sauna suit Floyd haha wtf,” McGregor wrote. “Is it hot in Tokyo or what’s the story here? That climate change is no joke f**k me hahah. What in the f**k is going on here? Who’s this little prick next to you ? That’s mad sh*t. Like something out of rush hour 5 or something. Chris tucker and Jackie f**king Chan back in this bitch. F**king brilliant. Mad little bastard you are Floyd. Fair f**ks to you mate. No lie. F**k it.”

Don't let the haircut fool you, Nasukawa will be a challenge. Especially if Mayweather is crazy enough to allow any rules permitting Nasukawa to strike with his feet. And Mayweather may be lots of things, but crazy isn't one.

He's also running circles around McGregor in the smack talk game.

After the "Jackie Chan" ridiculousness, Nasukawa dropped this:

Well played, young man.

Thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Clayton Gray, David Dodds, Steve Fisher, Brian Sumner and Devin Knotts for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at

Thanks for playing along and I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.

Peace and Grace to you.