We do a ton of insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with smart people thinking deeply for you.
This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots and it's a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I manage. Here's hoping it has some value for you.
We'll see. Now let's get to it.
Luke Kuechly Voice:
Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation...
I know you're not supposed to ask this but can things get much worse for Jon Gruden?
The latest shot is IsGrudenGoneYet.com. When you go to the site, you see a counting timer with this.
Thanks to Footballguy David Dodds for that one.
I can only imagine what Al Davis would think.
"McCown, standing in the middle of the New York Jets locker room on Wednesday, recalled a conversation with the Raiders' late patriarch after a preseason game. It concerned a seemingly innocuous play, a second-and-1 completion to the flat. He had had two options: the flat or a corner route. He opted for the safe pass, resulting in a first down.
"After the game, I'm putting stuff in my car and this Lincoln Town Car pulls up, tinted windows," McCown told ESPN.com. "The back-seat window goes down. It was like something out of 'The Godfather.'
"He goes, 'Hey, McCown,'" said the quarterback, shifting into his throaty, Davis impersonation.
McCown walked over to the car.
"Hey, Mr. Davis."
"The second quarter, you threw the ball to the flat. Why did you throw to the flat? Who's telling you to throw to the flat?"
"That's part of my read," McCown told Davis. "On second-and-1, I was just looking to get a first down."
"You had [John] Madsen on a corner route."
"We're the Rai-dahs," Davis said to him. "Throw the ball down the field."
The window went up, and the Lincoln drove off.
"I'll never forget that," McCown said, smiling now.
I probably should just end with that as anything I could say will be downhill from there. "We're the Rai-dahs," Davis said to him. "Throw the ball down the field." Love it.
Sometimes, what you really need is a bunch of dancing tyrannosaurs with a marching band...
Thanks to Footballguy Barbara Bryant for that one.
And here's a Behind The Curtain Peek at how Random Shots is created. As I wrote this, I realized I don't know the plural of Tyrannosaurus rex. Fortunately, Quora usually has an idea.
"As others have pointed out, there is no plural to the specific name Tyrannosaurus rex. However, you can always (informally) refer to a Tyrannosaurus as a “tyrannosaur”, the plural of which would be “tyrannosaurs”. (“Tyrannosaur” could also refer to any close relative of Tyrannosaurus, like Albertosaurus, Guanlong, or Gorgosaurus.)"
But that's not the best part...
"Perhaps more interestingly, just as we have a “flock of seagulls” or a “murder of crows”, a “pod of whales” or a “hand of bananas”, the collective noun for a group of tyrannosaurs is a “terror”. So if you wanted to write about a family of Tyrannosaurus stalking across the plains, it would be completely appropriate to refer to them as a “terror of tyrannosaurs”."
So now you know. A pack of tyrannosaurs is properly known as a “terror". The English language doesn't always make sense. But I'm pretty sure they got that one right.
Hockey Note for the Week.
Game Respect Game. Tom Brady sees it too with Patrick Mahomes running across the field to congratulate him after the game.
From Peter King, here’s how the score fluctuated in the last quarter-and-a-minute:
Third quarter, :56 left: Tyreek Hill TD catch. Pats, 27-26.
Fourth quarter, 10:22 left: Gostkowski field goal. Pats, 30-26.
Fourth quarter, 8:38 left: Hill TD catch. Chiefs 33-30.
Fourth quarter, 5:25 left: Brady TD run. Pats, 37-33.
Fourth quarter, 3:15 left: Gostkowski field goal. Pats, 40-33.
Fourth quarter, 3:03 left: Hill TD catch. Tie, 40-40.
Fourth quarter, :00 left: Gostkowski field goal. Pats, 43-40.
Wild. And exactly what the NFL wants.
And it's why the league is hyper-focused on protecting quarterbacks. Without them, you get this.
Michael Gallup might be a wizard...
Those silly Vikings fans...
Funny, but apparently true.
Thanks to NFL Memes for those.
When that guy you're trying to avoid won't let you get away...
The still photo is even better.
Thanks to DailySnark for that one.
This week's Jonah Hill sigh goes to the Titans.
Tennessee quarterback Marcus Mariota completed 10 passes Sunday.
Tennessee gave up 11 sacks Sunday.
Let that sink in.
Bills fan Lee Merkel, 83, died on Sunday. The lifelong season ticketholder left us with this per Fox News in Buffalo.
“Lee has requested six Buffalo Bills players as pallbearers so they can let him down one last time,” read a line from his obituary, published in The Observer-Dispatch.
God Bless Bills Fans.
Thanks to Footballguy Claudio Berumen for that one.
Make that 0-24. But just baaaarely.
Offensive line continuity is an underrated part of quarterback and running back performance.
It's a big country.
Every person on the Rules Committee:
Our friend Doug Farrar had it right.
The good old Roethlisberger to Roethlisberger for minus 1-yard play.
Emotional moment Sunday with Ryan Shazier warming up the team on the Bengals field where he was injured last year.
Dre Kirkpatrick with the worst headbutt ever.
These Kirk Cousins pre-game speeches are getting a little dramatic...
That's pretty funny.
I'm going to just leave this one right here.
Live look at Cam Newton after hearing this about his former receiver...
Will Ferrell as Ben Roethlisberger never gets old.
I know it looks cool but I'm surprised this doesn't happen in every game.
This surprised no one.
I know his time this year is likely coming to a close with Le'Veon Bell returning. But James Conner is my favorite player in the league.
If the Texans aren't doing this, they should.
I normally lean towards giving the officials a break. It's no easy task to ref a game.
But this was ridiculous.
Speaking of officiating, the Patriots didn't have a single penalty called on them at home this week. That's a shocker.
Running back Kenyan Drake fumbled at the goalline appearing to cost Miami the game. The Dolphins held together and Drake on the sideline as they kicked the winning field goal is one of those picture's worth a thousand words things.
This is sports.
I may do this one every week.
I guess we should have seen this coming...
Thanks to Footballguy Keith Overton for that one.
We're living in a world now where punters are making one-handed catches. I don't even know what to think anymore.
Ezekiel McGregor sounds nice.
Rico McGregor works too...
McGregor explained: "I just didn’t want to rip my custom @augustmcgregor baby blue billionaire blazer.
That was all, y’all. Great job to the Cowboys today! It’s a Proper giddy up tonight in Dallas and I LOVE IT, see yous soon."
That special touchdown celebration when you're only down 18...
Julio Jones: 69 targets, zero touchdowns.
For all you folks who listened to me ranking Jones as a WR1 this year, I'm sorry.
I'm so getting one of these shirts.
Thanks to Footballguy David Dodds for that one.
Peter King with a wild stat this week:
The last six Steelers-Bengals game at Paul Brown Stadium in downtown Cincinnati:
“The Bengals have to be wondering, ‘What do we have to do against this team?’“ said Ian Eagle on the CBS telecast.
Bill Parcells used to famously say, "You are your record says you are".
I think we can say Washington is mediocre.
Thanks to Footballguy and longtime Washington Fan, Jonathon Morris for that one.
Adam Thielen's shoe game is strong.
Thanks to Footballguy Jake Bryant for that one
Thanks to Footballguy Aaron Rudnicki for that one.
Here's a question. How would you feel if you paid for sideline tickets on Monday Night and got the Booger Cam view?
Music Note of the Week. Jack White and The White Stripes are longtime Random Shots favorites. "We're Going To Be Friends" isn't one of their biggest hits but it might be my favorite White Stripes song.
Wrapping with this one. I posted this note on Philip Rivers a couple of weeks ago.
And it's worth unpacking a little. Rivers has one of the more unorthodox throwing motions in the league. Yet it works for him.
"You Do You" is the common phrase for people today. Especially young people. And there's tons of truth there. I think we're all called to be who we are. Whatever that is. But not unlike Rivers, I think there's some degree of "Is this working?" that must be asked. Rivers is fun because his odd throwing motion works. If it didn't work, you likely wouldn't know who Philip Rivers is. So "You Do You". But regularly check yourself to see how it's working. Off the soapbox.
And one more last thing. Get out and vote. Voter registration ends soon for many states so don't miss it. This handy link has info for your area. I couldn't care less who you vote for. I just urge folks to let your voice be heard.
Thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Clayton Gray, David Dodds, Barbara Bryant, Claudio Berumen, Jonathon Morris, Jake Bryant and Aaron Rudnicki for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.
Peace and Grace to you.