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Hi Folks,
We do a lot of really insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with some very smart people thinking deeply for you. This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots and it's a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I keep relatively sane. Here's hoping it has some value for you.
We'll see. Now let's get to it.
J
Week 7 featured some fun storylines including Brock Osweiler facing his former team. Everyone seemed ready.
Thanks to Footballguy David Dodds for that one.
It's one thing for Davante Adams to score more touchdowns than all the Bears receivers combined.
But more yards and receptions too?
Somewhere Dick Butkus is looking like George Costanza...
Thanks to Footballguy Klaus Krauthan for that one. All the way from Germany.
A couple of weeks ago, Aaron Rodgers went Arthur Fonzerelli on us in the post game interview.
After the Thursday night game, he upped the ante significantly rocking The Dude's sweater.
There's not a quarterback in the league that's more in line with my stupid humor than Rodgers. From Big Lebowski sweaters to trolling the Vikings with Grape Crush a couple of years ago after a win.
And my favorite part is he never mentions the burn. He did the post game interview Thursday without the sweater coming up. And even denied the Grape Crush trolling.
Umm. Sure Aaron. Whatever you say...
Love it. The game (and this Random Shots column) needs more fun like this.
Andy Dalton and the Bengals were stoked to finally have Tyler Eifert back...
I'm pretty sure it's because I'm still 12 years old, but the Seattle - Arizona game had me thinking about Angry Birds...
ESPN aired a dramatic and serious interview before the Monday night game with Brock Osweiler detailing the myriad of reasons he left Denver for Houston. They were of course all the typical, "Best situation for me and my family" type stuff.
So serious. Can he not just cut to the chase and say what everyone knows? Houston offered more money. I'm not mad. And I don't think anyone in Denver is mad anymore. Seems like we could save everyone a lot of time here...
I praised the Vikings social media team last week for the Sam Bradford photoshops.
But the Harambe memes are pretty tired by this point. Definitely not worth a five fire rating.
C'mon Vikings. Give us something at least with the Mike Zimmer murdered stuffed animals...
From the StarTribune: "Before dismissing his 5-0 team for the bye week, coach Mike Zimmer scattered stuffed animals of the feline variety throughout Winter Park. At some point, someone in the locker room cut their throats and splattered them with red paint.
"Hanging on the larger cat in the locker room was a sign that read 'Fat Cats Get Slaughtered.'"
The team later said it was not Zimmer who did the slashing. From Deadspin:
"Coach did distribute stuffed animals throughout the building with the message that “Fat Cats Get Slaughtered.” At some point someone in the locker room cut the toys open and put on the red paint. It was certainly not Coach."
Okie Dokie.
If you made me NFL Commissioner for The Day ( a GREAT idea by the way), I'd let the Dolphins keep their throwback uniforms all year long.
And same for the field.
Thanks to Footballguy Clayton Gray for that one.
I'm not sure it's possible, but I think Michael Bennett's shoulder pads are getting smaller. Or his shoulders are getting bigger. Maybe both.
God Bless Los Angeles.
Turns out the car is the legendary El Gallo. And of course it has it's own Twitter account @El_Gallo1
I assumed it was a promo thing for a Fried Chicken restaurant or something like that. From what I can tell, it's just a guy's car he drives around. Which makes it a thousand times more cool. Rock on El Gallo. And you guys hit me up if you know more.
The pink gear for Breast Cancer Awareness starts to look the same after a while. Props to Falcons WR Mohamed Sanu for raising the bar with these pink Power Ranger cleats.
The major obstacle with the Sunday morning London games would appear to be keeping up with the time difference...
Rock on, Texans Fans.
Thanks to Footballguy David Dodds for that one.
This is as political as I'll get here...
Ok, I lied. But it's the political segment so maybe we'll just call it "spin".
Here's a real political thought: Go vote. Seriously. Go vote.
I know lots of people don't like either Presidential candidate. Trust me, I get it. But most every election is about much more than just the President. I bet there are lots of local offices to be decided in your city. And issues and referendums and that sort of thing. Don't sit on the sidelines and let someone else decide for you.
Be like this guy from our friends at Chubbies Shorts (which are awesome) and get out and vote.
The only way Mike Leach could be better is if one of the NFL teams hired him. In this one, he talks about how he picks the player for calling the coin toss.
Thanks to Footballguy Russell Clement for that one.
I know it's the cool thing to make fun of Jared Goff. I've been guilty myself.
I just can't do it anymore.
I'm going to fall back to what I always fall back to in times like these. Caddyshack quotes. Specifically, Caddyshack quotes from Judge Smails.
“Lacy, you'd be interested to know this uniform was given to me by the Captain of the Links at St. Andrews from Scotland. They invented the game there you know, except they call it "Goff", without the "L" as we do.".
Because you can never ever go wrong with Judge Smails. For an expanded six minutes of Judge Smails gold, click here.
Judge Smails to Jared Goff in one link. Boom.
Thanks to Footballguy Keith Overton for that one.
Uncool, Tom Johnson.
Another week, another set of Antonio Brown cleats. This week they were BOOMIN. Literally.
The NFL is experimenting with a new rule where fans are allowed to call penalties. Here's how it worked in Kansas City Sunday.
Thanks to Footballguy Matt Waldman for that one.
Easily my favorite tweet of the week was this beauty from Rob Lowe.
I'm sure Jeff Fisher dropped everything when he heard the news. This is how I bet it went down:
Office Guy: "Coach. Hold up. Rob Lowe tweeted at you."
Fisher: "The Rob Lowe that knows Los Angeles is the entertainment capital of the world?"
Office Guy: "Yup."
Fisher: "Wow. Incredible. Unbelievable. What's Rob Lowe want?"
Office Guy: "Rob Lowe wants changes."
Fisher: "Rob Lowe wants changes?"
Office Guy: "Not just changes. Rob Lowe wants changes NOW"
Fisher: "NOW?"
Office Guy: "Yup".
Fisher: "NOW like in he used all caps? Like capital N, capital O, capit..."
Office Guy: "NOW. All Caps"
Fisher:
I would've loved to have seen Lowe before sending that tweet. "That 3-4 stuff might have flown in St. Louis. But THIS IS LOS ANGELES Baby."
That's quality television right there.
Sometimes this column writes itself...
Perfect.
Don't worry Browns fans. It's going to be ok.
Blake Bortles brings up lots of differing opinions. But I think we can all agree this is not good.
I think most of us are with Joe here...
Oh that Rex Ryan...
At least Blair Walsh is consistent.
As promised, Bill Belichick ditched the tablet.
I feel like there's a huge opportunity to make a clipboard out of the Microsoft Surface and have Belichick use that to hold his paper. Can't we all get along?
Wide receivers like to say that if cornerbacks could catch, they'd be wide receivers. Watching Malcolm Butler here, one might extend that logic to dancing as well. With apologies to Deion Sanders...
Patriot fans would probably say "Scoreboard". And they'd be right.
A.J. Green Cause and Effect.
This:
Causes this:
I'm just going to leave this one right here...
Colts Fans in savage mode.
Coach Todd Bowles replied with the perfect response.
Of course, some tried to breathlessly turn this into "There's an escalating WAR OF WORDS developing between Ryan Fitzpatrick and the Jets front office!"
Actually, it was two grown ups expressing themselves. The way grown ups do. Next question.
My actual fortune from lunch Saturday.
If Martellus Bennett has another game like last week, this may be coming true...
Music note of the week. I said last week I didn't want this to turn into a "Joe's Favorite Bands" thing. I may need to reevaluate as Dawes is on the all time favorite list. And if you made me pick a Dawes song, I think I'd go with "All Your Favorite Bands".
I hope that life without a chaperone is what you thought it'd be
I hope your brother's El Camino runs forever
I hope the world sees the same person that you've always been to me
And may all your favorite bands stay together
That may be the nicest and purest thing I can imagine saying to someone.
The losing costume for the Cardinals "Bucket Challenge" game has become a Random Shots regular feature. This week it was Zac Dysert warming up in the Reno 911 gear.
That's gold.
Titans Marcus Mariota Pineapple Fan is one of my favorite Fans. We don't grow pineapples in Tennessee as far as I know. But the Titans do sometimes draft quarterbacks from Hawaii.
Golf Note.
John Daly is not a small man. Which makes this picture with Yao Ming even more remarkable.
That's ridiculous.
I see you Reggie Bush.
Not True.
On that note, that was one crazy game.
I think we all sort of had the Zoolander moment there.
Fans felt the same way...
Although I think I'm one of the few people who didn't hate the game. I thought it was entertaining. I don't have to see a ton of touchdowns to like a game.
And please, can we drop the "How Can The League Schedule Such A Horrible Game In PRIME TIME???" hysterics. If you're a league executive, you jump at Seattle vs Arizona all day long. Get a grip.
Unfortunately for Steeler Fans, they watched the game Sunday like Ben Roethlisberger...
If it makes the NFL feel any better, MLS Soccer is uptight too.
Then this.
Poor Jeff Fisher.
He's right on the Jared Goff line of being untouchable. Right on it.
Oh those tricky Jaguar Fans...
People happy to see the Vikings lose Sunday? All the members of the 1972 Dolphins. And this guy.
Thanks to BustedCoverage for that one.
More Big Lebowski in this one. The Stranger says Movember is almost here. If ever a man's voice sounded as good as his mustache looked, it's Sam Elliott. Click here to see and hear for yourself with the last couple minutes of the film.
Charles Woodson with another Ascot Monday.
It might've been Ascot Monday for Woodson. It was NOT Make A 28 Yard Field Goal Monday for Woodson. He was terrible.
And so was Matt Hasselbeck. Even with the Uncle Rico cleats.
Randy Moss, however rose to the challenge. Nailing back to back kicks. Going straight on Charlie Brown style. In DRESS SHOES.
Plus, Trent Dilfer had the line of the weekend: “If there’s one thing I’m an expert on, it’s throwing interceptions”.
College Basketball Story of the Week. The stage was set for two students at East Tennessee State University to win free tuition if they could hit a half court shot. Click here to see how it went down.
Wrapping with some Soapbox Time.
We've all seen the Joe Namath tweet during the game after Geno Smith was injured.
The answer to "How bad can it be?" of course, was "Pretty bad". As in a torn ACL for Smith.
Namath whiffing on a tweet isn't really the point. But it leads to a couple of points.
1. Know Your Weight. And by "weight", I mean "weight of your words". You're Joe Namath. Jets Legend. Jets QUARTERBACK Legend. You have to know that every word you say directed to a Jets QB carries a million times more weight than anyone else. I can rip on Geno Smith. Big deal. I'm one of a thousand hacks ripping Geno Smith. But when Joe Namath rips Geno Smith. That's not just in another ball park. That's in another universe. So he has to understand his words have weight. For us, we're not Jets legends. But for some people in our lives, our words carry more than the normal amount of weight. It may be with our kids, our spouses, our parents. Whoever. I bet your words carry an extra amount of weight with someone around you. So be careful. And use your weight wisely.
2. Assume The Best. And this one is huge. Society today moves pretty fast. We're forced to make decisions in split seconds every hour of the day. For many or most of those decisions, we bring with us some preconceived assumptions.
With that said, here's something I've been trying to work on: Assume the Best Of The Other Person. Guy cuts you off in traffic? Maybe he's truly a jerk. Or maybe he's late to work for a huge meeting. Or maybe he's got a terrible job with an awful boss. Or maybe his wife is really sick. Or maybe... You get the idea. It's a lot easier to assume the best of that other person and let it go. Will you sometimes come out on the short end of a deal or will people sometimes take advantage of you? Maybe. But I've found way more often than not, the net effect is you move on with your day without a single downside as you show that person some grace.
Sounds simple? It is. It's also pretty accurate. I've lost track of the times I've held off on my initial negative impression and given the person a little slack and then later discovered the person had something huge going on that was causing them to act the way they were. I bet Joe Namath now wishes he'd thought this way before hitting "send" on the Geno Smith tweet. It's that whole "Try to see things from the other person's perspective" thing.
And before I get too carried away with the "Good job, Joe" thing. I can say I've arrived at this conclusion that it's better to assume the best after spending years of getting it wrong. And I still do. It's a lesson learned. And shared.
Off the Soapbox.
Thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Clayton Gray, David Dodds, Klaus Krauthan, Russell Clement and Matt Waldman for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at bryant@footballguys.com.
Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.
Peace and Grace to you.
J