The Profit: Week 17

A humorous - yet serious - look at the NFL

Let's get to the picks!

Week 17 Picks

Tampa Bay (-6.5) vs. Carolina
Given that neither team has anything to play for, except for that chip on Cam Newton's shoulder now that everyone is talking about how bad he is, I'm thinking this one stays close throughout (probably a Carolina win, with the Doug Martin situation and late-season collapse taking front and center in Tampa).
Pick: Panthers

Indianapolis (-4.5) vs. Jacksonville
With Jacksonville finally getting that pesky win out of the way last week and the impending onslaught of offense that the Colts are waiting to unleash on the NFL, this one has the feeling of Colts 84, Jaguars 2.
Pick: Colts

Pittsburgh (-7.5) vs. Cleveland
Man, this "taking the Browns and the points thing" sure is easy money! Pittsburgh has absolutely zero reason to do anything other than go through the motions this week. That will be a trend in determining the rest of my picks this week by the way -- that teams with nothing to play for will play like they have nothing to play for.
Pick: Browns

Minnesota (-5.5) vs. Chicago
Until last week, Chicago had remained competitive in many of their games. They even beat a decent team or two here and there. Minnesota, meanwhile, continued its nasty trend of failing to show up since Week 6. Now there's a mutiny on the horizon? No thanks.
Pick: Bears

Cincinnati (-2.5) vs. Baltimore
They fell short a week ago, but this is still a very proud Baltimore team that is still much higher on talent than their Cincinnati counterparts. I think they and Steve Smith go out on a high note this Sunday.
Pick: Ravens

Buffalo (-6.5) at New York Jets
I get it, the Jets stink and they have their own in-house issues going on. But it's not like the Bills are even remotely decent, plus they just fired their head coach, plus their starting QB isn't playing, plus they're not at home. This line feels SEVERAL points too high to me.
Pick: Jets

Philadelphia (-6.5) vs. Dallas
Oh look, the Cowboys have nothing to play for. Philadelphia is eager to build on the success of finding its future franchise quarterback. I wonder which way this one is gonna go.
Pick: Eagles

Tennessee (-3.5) vs. Houston
With nothing to play for, there's no reason for Houston to even show up in this one. And they won't.
Pick: Titans

New England (-9.5) at Miami
I hesitate a bit to lay so many points on the road against a playoff team. And the Dolphins actually DO have something to play for, namely a date with the Texans instad of the Steelers. But New England has even more at stake with home-field still staring them squarely in the face. And they won't let that opportunity get away from them. I figure Miami pulls its starters when it's 21-0 at halftime.
Pick: Patriots

Washington (-7.5) vs. New York Giants
Don't look now, but the Giants have nothing to play for.
Pick: Redskins

Denver (-2.5) vs. Oakland
The Raiders will know by kickoff whether they can get home field advantage throughout the playoffs, but they won't know whether the Chiefs will overtake them for the division title. So they'll need this game. And make no mistake, nothing would make Denver's disappointing more satisfying than knocking the Raiders down a peg as they limp into the postseason without their star QB. Matt McGloin, good luck with the Denver defense.
Pick: Broncos

Seattle (-9.5) at San Francisco
Although it's true they need some help, these guys are playing for a first round bye. Blowout city, folks.
Pick: Seahawks

Kansas City (-4.5) at San Diego
Guys, I don't know if you're aware of this yet. But the Chargers stink. Like seriously stink. And the Chiefs can still win the AFC West and earn a first round bye. Oh, and Qualcomm will feel like a funeral parlor. This line should have an extra zero in it.
Pick: Chiefs

Atlanta (-6.5) vs. New Orleans
Again, it's not going to be an easy matchup becasue the Saints can hang with just about anyone offensively. But considering what's at stake here for Atlanta (a first round bye vs potentially a game against the Giants), they should have very little trouble putting this one away by more than a TD.
Pick: Falcons

Arizona (-6.5) at Los Angeles
With all the great NFL action this weekend, don't let this barnburner get lost in the shuffle!
Pick: Rams

Green Bay (-3.5) at Detroit
There might not be a hotter team in the NFL than Green Bay. Meanwhile, it would be so Lions to lose at home with a division title and so much at stake to the rival Packers, no?
Pick: Packers

BEST BETS: Colts, Ravens, Chiefs, Packers
LOCK: Kansas City Chiefs

LAST WEEK

Overall: 8-8
Best Bets: 2-2
Lock of the Week: 1-0

YEAR TO DATE

Overall: 120-120 (50%)
Best Bets: 30-34 (46%)
Lock of the Week: 8-8 (50%)

POWER RANKINGS

Team Name W/L (Prv)
1. Patriots 13-2 (1)
2. Cowboys 13-2 (2)
3. Raiders 12-3 (3)
4. Chiefs 11-4 (5)
5. Giants 10-5 (4)
6. Falcons 10-5 (6)
7. Steelers 10-5 (7)
8. Packers 9-6 (9)
9. Lions 9-6 (8)
10. Seahawks 9-5-1 (10)
11. Dolphins 10-5 (14)
12. Redskins 8-6-1 (12)
13. Ravens 8-7 (11)
14. Broncos 8-7 (13)
15. Texans 9-6 (23)
16. Bucs 8-7 (16)
17. Saints 7-8 (20)
18. Titans 8-7 (15)
19. Cardinals 6-8-1 (21)
20. Vikings 7-8 (17)
21. Panthers 6-9 (18)
22. Eagles 6-9 (26)
23. Bengals 5-9-1 (19)
24. Bills 7-8 (24)
25. Colts 7-8 (25)
26. Chargers 5-10 (22)
27. Jaguars 3-12 (30)
28. Bears 3-12 (28)
29. Jets 4-11 (29)
30. 49ers 2-13 (31)
31. Rams 4-11 (27)
32. Browns 1-14 (32)


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