The Profit: Week 16

A humorous - yet serious - look at the NFL

Let's get to the picks!

Week 16 Picks

New York Giants (-2.5) at Philadelphia
Wouldn't it be just like the Giants to play exceptionally well all season long, then blow two divisional games and somehow find themselves on the outside looking in? Nahhhh, can't happen.
Pick: Giants

Buffalo (-3.5) vs. Miami
All I know is, back in the 80's and 90's there was this thing where the Bills had trouble playing in Miami in December, and the Dolphins had major issues heading up to Buffalo. Literally though, that's all I know.
Pick: Bills

Washington (-3.5) at Chicago
There's something funny going on in Washington, and not in a good way. This looked like a high quality team just a few weeks ago, but three losses in four weeks and a struggle to beat the hapless Eagles is not a good look heading into Soldier Field. The Bears are still fighting (for what, who knows?) and should keep this one within a field goal.
Pick: Bears

New England (-16.5) vs. New York Jets
This is SEVERAL points too high. For starters, the Pats have played exactly one dominant game since Rob Gronkowski's injury. Saying they're a different team without him might be the understatement of all time. Second, the records often haven't mattered when these two have hooked up in recent seasons. Granted, it's usually the 11-2 Pats against the 3-10 Jets or something, but still. And third, when you're talking about late December games in cold weather cities, it's rare to see blowouts which this one would have to be. Let's play it safe on this one.
Pick: Jets

Tennessee (-4.5) at Jacksonville
You know, I was gonna write up a whole preview and summary about this matchup, but then My Cousin Vinny came on and I really don't think there's any comparison here. Sorry guys.
Pick: Titans

Atlanta (-2.5) at Carolina
We've long established that Atlanta is legit. But this late-season resurgence from Carolina feels pretty real. It's not going to be as easy as the records seem to indicate for this one. It's the hardest game of the week for me to pick, which generally means I'll take the points.
Pick: Panthers

San Diego (-6.5) at Cleveland
It's gonna happen, isn't it? Well we might as well get that outta the way so we can officially move on from McCoy...
Pick: Browns

Green Bay (-6.5) vs. Minnesota
The Minnesota freefall continued last week, marking a staggering turnaround from the early-season jump they got on the rest of the league. Is it fatigue settling in? Were they just getting lucky early on? Have they just been unlucky lately? The answers to these questions, and many more, can be found throughout the rest of the website by the guys who are a lot smarter than me. I'm just here to flip coins and pray.
Pick: Packers

Oakland (-3.5) vs. Indianapolis
Ok, I've been harping on the whole "Raiders are overrated" thing for enough weeks. This is silly. They're a LOT better than a half point favorite against the Colts on a neutral field, come on.
Pick: Raiders

Los Angeles (-3.5) vs. San Francisco
Continuing my "Rams shouldn't be favored against anyone" mantra, let's take the points here and see what happens.
Pick: Niners

New Orleans (-3.5) vs. Tampa Bay
Saints at home is still a pretty automatic bet for a whole bundle of points and yardage, but this Bucs team is absolutely legit. I stand corrected, because I did NOT see any of this coming. Even in a loss to one of the league's best, they fought til the very end. And they should come out of New Orleans not only having covered the spread, but with a victory.
Pick: Bucs

Seattle (-8.5) vs. Arizona
Does Arizona have even ONE quality game in them? Just ONE respectable performance against a good team? Come on.
Pick: Cardinals

Houston (-2.5) vs. Cincinnati
The fact that I still have an 8-win Texans team ranked behind a 5-win Chargers team, pretty much tells you all you need to know about my opinion of Houston.
Pick: Bengals

Pittsburgh (-5.5) vs. Baltimore
No way is this game going to be decided by anything less than a field goal as time expires. It's like, in the NFL bylaws or something.
Pick: Ravens

Kansas City (-4.5) vs. Denver
The Chiefs may have been caught looking ahead a little bit, which could explain the underwhelming performance against Tennessee last week. Well, if they WERE looking ahead to this week's matchup against Denver, guess what -- HERE IT IS!
Pick: Chiefs

Dallas (-7.5) vs. Detroit
I'm all over Dallas as a legit elite team, having obviously been ranking them at or near the very top spot for the past several weeks. But the Lions aren't a slouch, and this looks to be a couple of points too high, particularly for a primetime game that could be a potential NFC title game preview.
Pick: Lions

BEST BETS: Giants, Jets, Raiders, Ravens
LOCK: Baltimore Ravens


Overall: 5-11
Best Bets: 2-2
Lock of the Week: 1-0


Overall: 112-112 (50%)
Best Bets: 28-32 (46%)
Lock of the Week: 7-8 (46%)


Team Name W/L (Prv)
1. Patriots 12-2 (1)
2. Cowboys 12-2 (2)
3. Raiders 11-3 (4)
4. Giants 10-4 (5)
5. Chiefs 10-4 (3)
6. Falcons 9-5 (6)
7. Steelers 9-5 (7)
8. Lions 9-5 (8)
9. Packers 8-6 (9)
10. Seahawks 9-4-1 (10)
11. Ravens 8-6 (13)
12. Redskins 7-6-1 (11)
13. Broncos 8-6 (12)
14. Dolphins 9-5 (14)
15. Titans 8-6 (19)
16. Bucs 8-6 (16)
17. Vikings 7-7 (15)
18. Panthers 6-8 (20)
19. Bengals 5-8-1 (17)
20. Saints 6-8 (21)
21. Cardinals 5-8-1 (18)
22. Chargers 5-9 (22)
23. Texans 8-6 (23)
24. Bills 7-7 (24)
25. Colts 7-7 (26)
26. Eagles 5-9 (25)
27. Rams 4-10 (27)
28. Bears 3-11 (28)
29. Jets 4-10 (29)
30. Jaguars 2-12 (30)
31. 49ers 1-13 (31)
32. Browns 0-14 (32)

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