Random Shots: Week 2

A look back at the notable and/or humorous side of Week 1

Hi Folks,

Congratulations.

You, like me, survived another NFL Offseason. Just like last year, it was “Barely” and that’s all right too. (One of the greatest one word lines in movie history at the :13 mark but that’s another column…)

We do a lot of really insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with some very smart people thinking deeply for you. This is not one of those features.

This is Random Shots and it’s a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I keep relatively sane. Here's hoping it has a tiny bit of value for you.

Let's do this.

J

 

I’ll admit, he’s a little frightening at times but with the NFL season kicking off Thursday night, I was feeling like Jimmy Johnson. It’s the same way every year.

 

 


 

Fun to see my friend Matthew Berry on ESPN’s Sunday Countdown this week.

Caption this pic…

 

Congrats Buddy.

 


 

The DirecTV ads continue to be home runs.

I never saw this one coming though with the high voice Peyton Manning when asked to the deep ball...

Wow.

 


 

I get the Monday Night Guys wearing the old jackets to honor Frank Gifford. That’s cool.

But looking at his tie, Gruden apparently got the news about five minutes before airtime.

 

Love that Chucky.

 


 

I want to know who gave the ok for Dan Bailey’s headshot picture.

 

Thanks to Footballguy Brad Schuelke for that one.


In related news, someone has to tell Russell Wilson about the hair, right?

 

Although maybe the Conehead thing is the real secret to curing concussions and not the goofy bubble water...

 


 

Darren Rovell posted the highest paid NFL players from 1985.

 

Things change fast.

 


 

Pam Oliver is beautiful. But I’m pretty sure she has more than the normal amount of teeth.

 

If she and Steven Tyler were to ever have a child…



I bet it’d look like Black Eyed Joe

 

 


 

 

Thank you ESPN. I’m not sure I could have made it through the day without Stephen A. Smith explaining his opinion on Robert Griffin III to me…

 

I think my reaction was somewhere between Tom Jackson’s above and Jim’s below.

 

 

 

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The NFL presents some of the most photogenic opportunities on TV. But the Browns new uniforms over the yellow shield against the Jets green was not one of them…

 

I'll never be able to unsee that. So I thought I'd share with you. 

 

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I won’t pretend to know what James Jones prays. But I’d bet “Thank you for delivering me from Oakland” is in there somewhere.

 


 

Sometimes when you really want someone but can’t have them because you’re stuck with a lesser version of that person, you act mean to them.

Here’s what that looks like for the NFL with John Fox and Aaron Rodgers.

 

And this is how much Jay Cutler cares.

 


 

Geno Smith staying in the game. Just like he should.

 

Good for him.

 


 

Here’s why players love Rex Ryan.

He was 15 yards onto the field hugging Ronald Darby after his interception.

 

Rex could run for Mayor of Buffalo today.

Buddy for Sherriff?

 


 

Drew Brees to Willie Snead. Just like we thought…

 


 

I’ve been as rough on Robert Griffin III as anyone. But credit where it’s due - this is how you act on the sidelines when your team scores.

 


 

Ronnie Hillman with a sweet mouthpiece.

 

 


 


You know it’s Raider Football in September when it’s first and ten from Third Base…

 

Gorilla Raider Guy with the giant mirrored ball necklace in the California sun is fun. Can you imagine a fan doing that behind home plate in a baseball game?


 


 

Nice moment in Tampa Bay as tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins caught Jameis Wintson’s first touchdown pass and immediately handed the ball back to Winston. This was only Seferian Jenkins’ third NFL touchdown yet he clearly realized the moment. And like any smart receiver, he wants to stay in the good graces of his quarterback…

 

 


 

TV Commercial Ronda Rousey looks like In The Ring Ronda Rousey as much as TV Commercial Hardees Burger looks like what you get in the restaurant.

 


 

Eric Weddle felt a lot better two seconds before this picture than he did two seconds after…

 

From a different angle.

 

Though I have a feeling he’s going to have plenty of company in the next few years in the “Ameer Abdullah Made Me Look Silly” Club.

 


 

If the NFL ever needed extra cash, there’s probably no limit to how much people would pay for a live coaches mic’d up feed.

 


 

Russell Wilson with Suit Game On Point.

 

 


 

If Shane Vereen shows up on the injury report with a neck injury this week, it’s because the coaches won’t turn the tablet so he can see it…


 

C'mon Coach.

 


 

Tense moments in Jerry World Sunday Night.

 


 

New Bills QB Tyrod Taylor wowed both on and off the field. I like this guy. A lot.

 


 

I love the Browns. If I could make a wish and grant any team a Super Bowl win this year, it would be Cleveland.

I’m not sure about the new uniforms. I hated them at first, but the college thing with Cleveland on the chest is starting to grow on me. A little.

 

I think David Helman may be onto something though…

 

Cleveland opened with a 17 play drive that ended with Josh McCown’s Anti John Elway Helicopter.

They later made a 48 yard extra point.

Perfect.

 


 

Because that hair doesn’t just happen all by itself…

 

 


 

NFL picking up on the Soccer tradition a bit with the post game jersey swap. I’ve always that was fun.

 


 

The Tampa Bay Front Office after an eyeful of Marcus Mariota Sunday.

  


 

One big happy family in Washington…

 


 

This seems like a long time ago…

 


 

In the game day program for St. Louis Sunday.

 

Sometimes this thing just writes itself…

 


 

Mike Jurecki with a cool breakdown of all the special patches to be worn by teams this year.

 

Because I know you guys love this stuff like I do.

 


 

 

Love that Green Bay - Chicago - Minnesota Hate Triangle.

 


 

College Football Note - Don’t ever do this…



 

Midway through the 3rd quarter in the Colts - Bills Game.

 

Yeah, I saw that coming…

 


 

Watching the Seattle - St. Louis game Sunday with my Buddy Clayton Gray. As the Rams tied the game with an extra point, the announcer said, “This game is in no way over”.

Clayton said, “Well, it's tied, so you're right, Dude”.


And on those extra points. I love it. I don’t know why I didn’t think that much about the rule change earlier but cases like St. Louis - Seattle were perfect. It’s not just a touchdown. It’s touchdown plus a 33 yard kick to tie. That adds an awesome new layer.

 


 

A change in Chicago?

 

Matt Forte seems to think so.


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Ken Whisenhunt now has as many successful challenges as he did all of last year.

 

 


 

Here’s a thought. I watched Marcus Mariota and Jameis Winston and slide effortlessly Sunday I was reminded how Robert Griffin III made sliding look like the most difficult thing possible.

 


 

The last time Cleveland won on opening day, Jeff Garcia was their quarterback…

 

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Marcus Mariota was pulled in his first NFL game. Because his team was so far ahead and he posted 4 touchdowns and a perfect passer rating of 158.3. You don’t see that every day.

Before we fit him for his Gold Jacket in Canton…

 

 


 

Week 1 Losing Coaches are all about “Taking full responsibility for this loss". You don't hear that in November.

 


 

Credit where it’s due.

ESPN Stats posted this as the final drive was just starting.

 

 


 

Apparently, Steelers defensive coordinator Keith Butler has Gronkowski on his fantasy team.

 

Dick Lebeau watching was…

 

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Lots of people suggested that maybe Pete Carroll knew something throwing the ball at the end of the Super Bowl as Marshawn Lynch was stonewalled to end the game with St. Louis.

Lynch’s Mom took to Facebook and was not amused

 

If nothing else, it’s an excuse to post this video from the League.

 

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Oh Buffalo Fans…

Thanks to Footballguy Matt Cox for that one.

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After the game, Eagles QB Sam Bradford revealed he underwent precautionary X-rays,  but didn't indicate where they were taken on his body. He deflected questions about the procedure, saying "I'm fine."

I’m not sure I’d call that news. Bradford gets X-Rays like most people brush their teeth.

This was nice though.

 


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Tony Romo threw the game winning touchdown Sunday night.

That made up for the Stanky Leg Tackle Attempt earlier…

 


 

Leaving you with my favorite story of the week. And it’s from College Football.

USC’s Jake Olson made the team as a walk on long snapper. Maybe not all that remarkable. Until you know that Olson is blind… 

Rock on, Jake Olson.

 



That'll do it for this week, Folks. Thanks to Footballguy Doug Drinen, Brad Schuelke and Matt Cox for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at bryant@footballguys.com.

Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life.  Love your neighbor and stick together

Peace,

J