Power Rankings - Week 8
Updated 10/29 by Mike Brown, Exclusive for Footballguys.com
These are just my opinion. If you disagree, feel free to let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Games I watched in Week 7
- SD @ KC
- NO @ Mia (1st half only; I went to Yankee playoff game at night)
- Phi @ Was (1st half only; it took all my strength to not slit my wrists
Rk Team Name Record (Prv.)
- New Orleans Saints 6-0 (1)
Overheard in the New Orleans huddle Sunday: "Oh what do we have to do? What's that? We have to score 22 points this quarter? Gotcha. Alright, on 3..."
- Indianapolis Colts 6-0 (3)
Somehow, Peyton Manning has turned in a fairly inconspicuous 5,000-yard, 40-touchdown pace.
- Minnesota Vikings 6-1 (2)
Hey Brad - see what happens when you try to give the ball to Chester Taylor? (Pssst, fellow Peterson owners...I know we can convince him to get ADP the rock 30x per game, I just know it!)
- Denver Broncos 6-0 (6)
The Broncos' goodness reminds me a lot of Kevin Spacey's heterosexuality. Sure, everyone says it's there but you just know that where there's smoke, there's fire.
- New England Patriots 5-2 (8)
I still have my doubts about the defensive ability, but the offense alone will ensure this team goes no worse than 11-5.
- Cincinnati Bengals 5-2 (9)
I realize that there are situations where players feel wronged by their former team and they want payback. But from all accounts, Cedric Benson was essentially little more than a bum. For him to seek revenge against the Bears would be like Benedict Arnold bitching because he never received a U.S. Army pension.
- Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2 (10)
I'm not saying the win over Minnesota was a fluke, but they aren't going to be able to rely on defensive scores twice in the fourth quarter too many times. Ah what am I saying, this is the Steelers - of course they can.
- Arizona Cardinals 4-2 (17)
You go into the Meadowlands and beat the Giants with defense, you get a bigger bump than the one on Kim Kardashian. Alright, so now we've established that a nine-spot surge in Mike Brown's Power Rankings is larger than a reality star's butt. Why do you people even read this?
- New York Giants 5-2 (4)
I read earlier today on a competitor's site (Hint: It rhymes with Boat O'World, AND we had it up seven minutes before them) that Bradshaw's ankle injury could be troublesome. Can the Giants really afford to lose one of the few offensive playmakers they've got?
- Philadelphia Eagles 4-2 (7)
I'll be the first to admit that they are entirely too high here, but until they start losing some more I can't just drop them for fun can I?
- Dallas Cowboys 4-2 (15)
Ladies and gentlemen, the Britney Spears of the NFL. Mostly just a lot of flash and no substance, and sometimes you see things that you can't un-see. But every once in awhile, they really clean up nicely.
- Baltimore Ravens 3-3 (11)
I know everyone and their mother loves the Ravens, but five of their next six games are all very losable matchups going in. This isn't gonna be easy by any stretch.
- New York Jets 4-3 (13)
I was gonna make a "Mark Sanchez likes wieners" joke here, but thankfully better judgment prevailed.
- Green Bay Packers 4-2 (16)
Know what's getting even more annoying than all the Favre news? Those sports anchor guys who make sarcastic jokes like, "Oh I heard there's a big game in Green Bay this week...is some famous ex-Packer playing in it???" or something along those lines. Then everyone in the studio fake laughs, and then the guy says, "No but seriously...". Granted, that's a joke I make on just about a weekly basis, but that doesn't make it funny. Moving on.
- Atlanta Falcons 4-2 (5)
They probably don't deserve a ten spot drop, but such is the life when the teams all around you win.
- Houston Texans 4-3 (18)
I have to admit that when I first heard that superhuman freak Andre Johnson was injured briefly last week, it made me think about my own mortality.
- San Diego Chargers 3-3 (19)
OK, I'm crazy. I admit it. But take a look at the remaining schedules for Denver and San Diego and tell me this team can't win the division at 11-5 or even 10-6. The key is winning at Denver of course, but it's not insane! (OK it's insane...or is it? Yes, it is...or IS IT?!?!?)
- Chicago Bears 3-3 (12)
I think I know why I dislike Jay Cutler so much. It's because he's that kid who made a pissed off facial expression as a kid, his mom warned him that it'd get stuck like that, and it did.
- San Francisco 49ers 3-3 (14)
Thanks, Vernon Davis. Thank you for that.
- Miami Dolphins 2-4 (20)
Inspired by Ricky Williams' renaissance season, word is that Jenna Jameson is in the process of making a comeback (no pun intended but actually yes pun intended),
- Seattle Seahawks 2-4 (21)
The Seahawks are the last team I'm missing a comment about, and I promised myself when I got to this point I'd stop and go check out the new Marisa Miller photo gallery on Tyler Durden. Sooo...
- Jacksonville Jaguars 3-3 (22)
Jacksonville let Fred Taylor walk away, cut a pair of receivers, signed Torry Holt, and have the same nondescript season they always have.
- Buffalo Bills 3-4 (25)
Did you see the Lee Evans touchdown in last week's game? I know I know it's a trick question - nobody saw the game.
- Carolina Panthers 2-4 (23)
And the season of nothingness marches on...
- Oakland Raiders 2-5 (24)
I think back to the early 21st century when the Raiders were flying high and my Raider fan friends taunted my sucky Chargers. Ahh, hope you guys enjoyed it. Al Davis' mom lived to about 100. Seriously.
- Washington Redskins 2-5 (26)
Big news out of Washington is that Chris Cooley could make it back in four weeks. Seriously, that qualifies as great news in the capital these days.
- Tennessee Titans 0-6 (27)
Do you think maybe the reason Jeff Fisher doesn't want to play Vince Young "to see what he's got" is because he already knows what he's got, and it ain't much?
- Detroit Lions 1-5 (28)
That win over Washington doesn't look as cool now that Washington is the suck.
- Cleveland Browns 1-6 (29)
One theory is that the Browns are benching Brady Quinn so that he doesn't reach incentives and therefore would earn less money. Here's my question: can't it just be that it's because he stunk?
- Kansas City Chiefs 1-6 (30)
Failing To Get It (n): the inability to understand how to behave when you're a professional athlete. Syn: Johnson, Larry
- Tampa Bay Bucs 0-7 (31)
- Saint Louis Rams 0-7 (32)
Believe it or not, I found something a lot worse than the Rams. A lot worse. (I take zero responsibility if your ears start bleeding.)
Super Shufflers of the Week
- Arizona Cardinals (+9) - Probably was at least a week behind the curve on giving them some well-deserved recognition.
- Dallas Cowboys (+4) - As inconsistent as they've been, they don't really have an awful loss yet.
- New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Pittsburgh Steelers (tie at +3) - Pats are closing in fast on elite status, Bengals loss to Denver doesn't look nearly as bad now, and Pitt hasn't lost a game with Polamalu in there.
Plungers of the Week
- Atlanta Falcons (-10) - They were probably a tad overrated to begin with, but this is mostly a numbers game.
- Chicago Bears (-6) - Well when you get blown out by 98 points, this happens.
- New York Giants, San Francisco 49ers (tie at -5) - Losses at home are always frowned upon, as is seeming like a very good team only to crap the bed two weeks in a row.