Power Rankings - Week 1
Posted 9/3 by Mike Brown, Exclusive to Footballguys.com
1. Patriots - Have to be here after 18-1, even after losing the Super Bowl.
2. Cowboys - I saw an article about Tony Romo that had a picture of OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HUGE BOOBS!
3. Chargers - Injuries starting to mount for the non-Pro Bowlers now too.
4. Colts - If Jeff Saturday can't go on Sundays, this team will have the Monday morning blues. Worst. Joke. Ever.
5. Jaguars - David Garrard joins the league's elite this year. As long as someone catches the ball.
6. Giants - Several notable losses on defense is troublesome.
7. Vikings - Best D in football got better, so did the running game, and the passing game. Look out.
8. Jets - If the Jets still had Chad Pennington
9. Packers - and the Packers still had Favre
10. Browns - then those two would've been in different spots. (Sorry, Browns fans nothing for you here)
11. Steelers - Hey Rashard, it's a football not Tony Siragusa's jockstrap.
12. Eagles - Stephen A. Smith wrote an article about how blacks don't play fantasy sports. I think the media builds up more white people at fantasy because they want to see them succeed in sports. Sincerely, Rush L.
13. Saints - Drew Brees is poised for a career year again.
14. Broncos - I told myself that this is the year I'd be staying away from Denver running backs. Apparently everyone else felt the same way. So now they're slipping way too far. And I'm taking them anyway. Dammit.
15. Panthers - I wonder if the Panthers will be a team that loses a bunch of close games and struggles to put away inferior opponents on a regular basis. Cause THAT would be something new!
16. Texans - This is just a rumor, but I heard that the Texans have been scouting our very own Jason Wood to play halfback this week.
17. Titans - Did somebody like, I don't know, delete the "get a Wide Receiver" column when they made their offseason 'to do' list?
18. Redskins - The Chris Cooley "NFL Fantasy" commercial where he puts his fist through the wall is one of the greatest commercials ever. Is there a more awesome guy in the league than Cooley? No, there isn't.
19. Cardinals - It's entirely possible at this point that Matt Leinart is no better at QB than Spencer from The Hills. So I just referenced Spencer from The Hills. Don't worry, I already punched myself in the neck.
20. Seahawks - Raise your hand if you think Julius Jones is terrible Julius, put your hand down.
21. Rams - Torry Holt is either going to catch 130 passes or be triple-teamed on every play.
22. Bills - So when is this Buffalo Bills renaissance I keep hearing about going to actually happen?
23. Bucs - Do you think when Archie Manning, Bob Griese, and Phil Simms get together and talk about their kids that Phil tells them Chris was adopted?
24. Niners - I love how the same people who questioned Martz three years ago because he only had Jon Kitna, are now saying the Niners offense won't be as good as Detroit's was because "at least the Lions had Kitna".
25. Lions - I did a fantasy football draft with some celebs the other day; Chuck Norris took Calvin.
26. Bengals - Does he realize that his name is now "Chad Eight Five", not "Chad Eighty-five"?
27. Chiefs - Maybe if Brodie Croyle didn't sound like a name you'd see on The Hills, [remainder of comment deleted by administrator for exceeding the limit of one Hills reference per season]
28. Dolphins - Mike Brown's power rankings the only place a 1-15 team can be ahead of four other teams.
29. Ravens - This Ravens team reminds me a lot of the 2000 Super Bowl team, just without the talent.
30. Raiders - I still say the offense will surprise some people.
31. Falcons - This offense, on the other hand, will not.
32. Bears - Kyle Orton's passing is just gross, man. (You see what I did there? High five.)
AFC Playoff Teams
6. Jets (Texans, Steelers just miss out)
Jaguars over Patriots
NFC Playoff Teams
6. Eagles (Giants just miss out)
Vikings over Saints
Vikings over Jaguars
One quick note on the Super Bowl pick in 2006, I predicted the Giants would win the Super Bowl. They won it in 2007. So it would appear that I'm a year ahead of my time. In 2007, I picked the Chargers. So if things hold true to form, me and Maurile Tremblay will have a dynamite 2008 while the great north will have a wonderful February 2010.