My condolences 

Yes, my condolences. In your desperate pursuit of football knowledge, you've stumbled upon Misery Football Theater. I'm your host of this garage gulag. It's my punishment for  a little collection and redistribution of municipal property in the town of Athens, Ga.

If you must know, my crime involved the appropriation of orange road construction barrels. I had a thing for cutting them into 26 pieces with a jigsaw, labeling them A-Z, and sending each piece from a variety of locations across the country to friends as puzzles.

I sent one of these jigsaw puzzles to the mayor of Clarke County. She didn't take kindly to my token of friendship. A few months later, the Honorable Judge Steve Jones cut a deal with my attorney and sentenced me to house arrest for the next 10 years.

I'm permitted to leave the premises for doctor's visits, general errands prescheduled with my parol officer, and the day job. Not that my work environment with its small office of cinder block walls and no windows in the basement of a tornado shelter disguised as a college of business doesn't already feel like a penitentiary.

If I veer from the scheduled plan, the Lo-jack on my ankle starts buzzing and then I have to talk with Athens' finest. I'd rather maintain the conditions of my plea. 

Part of that deal is that I have agreed to watch a mind-numbing amount of football each week. This includes games where has-been's get second chances to prove that they never-were's, and debacles where superstars get torn to pieces. This is why I write about fantasy football. Otherwise, I'd be playing baritone sax in the horn section of a Tower of Power cover band, touring the southeast and collecting my favorite kinds of lashing lights, folding gates, and unusual road signs.

Don't believe me? Sounds a lot like Mystery Science Theater?

As Sigmund Bloom says, it's kind of like being forced to watch Saturday Night Live after 1993. However, I don't believe the words "bad" and football" put together make any sense. Plus, the offshoot of my task is that you the reader gain some insight that helps your fantasy team. 

This week's feature at Misery Football Theater is the direct-to-video comedy "Brown Cleveland," starring Browns quarterback Jason Campbell and Josh Gordon. It's your typical, overdone odd-couple buddy flick where two unlikely characters - a luckless journeyman (Campbell) gets paired with a precocious talent (Gordon) whose had a history of self destruction.

Joe Banner co-stars, and unfortunately this rip-off of "Bull Durham" features the crusty front office boss as the movie's version of "Annie Savoy" mixed with a heavy dose of Divine. I cut out the parts where Banner asks Gordon to wear black garters and invites Campbell to join him in the cold tub.

Do you understand why Browns' fans have a penchant for throwing beer bottles onto the field? 

Short Feature: "Mr. Anderson Goes Through Washington"

Last week, I reminded folks to remember the name C.J. Anderson, the Denver Broncos' rookie running back from Cal. My post wasn't a call for Anderson to become an instant fantasy factor. It was a reminder that players who seemingly "come out of nowhere" have moments every fantasy owner can trace before the general public becomes aware of them.

The fact that Anderson earned an active roster spot and playing time in the second, third, and fourth quarter of last week's contested game is notable. It's also encouraging that Anderson demonstrated the same skills he displayed in the preseason in limited time. Because Knowshon Moreno continues to look good and Montee Ball didn't have any errors, it means that Anderson's potential for ascent to a meaningful spot on the depth chart likely remains as that of a re-draft long shot or a dynasty patience play.

However, my job is to point you to players who have the skills worth the risk. Arian Foster, Willie Parker, Peyton Hillis, Jerome Harrison, Joique Bell, Pierre Thomas, Bilal Powell, and dozens more runners would tell you to remain patient.

Let's begin with Anderson's patience on a short-yardage play.

The Broncos line will double team with the center and guard to the middle linebacker on this play. Anderson only needs two yards versus seven men in the box on this 2nd-and-two, but this is an important conversion for a team down by seven late in the first half. What's good about Anderson's performance on this play is his ability to press and cut to the intended hole.

Anderson begins the run towards the outside shoulder of the end. As he approaches the backs of his linemen, Anderson makes the cut to the double-team. A press-and-cut technique like this does two things for the running game: a) It provides the lineman time to execute the blocks and b) the running back's initial press in a directly away from the intended hole hopefully manipulates the linebacker (or box safety) to move in a direction away from the hole and then back towards the angle of the oncoming blocker.

As good as Adrian Peterson was at Oklahoma, he didn't learn to press and cut with consistency until his second year with the Vikings after working with former Vikings running back coach Eric Bienemy. Anderson lacks the ungodly athleticism of Peterson, but he's a smart runner who exhibits patience on this play.

There's a difference between patience and tentative play where a runner "dances too much". The key to learning the difference is to become familiar with blocking schemes like traps, inside and outside zones, counter plays, power, and sweeps and watch what the linemen and running back are doing. The plays that often require the most patience are the inside and outside zone plays.  

As Anderson makes his cut after the initial press, his eyes are scanning the line of scrimmage for the location of maroon helmets. If he reads the location of the helmets and combines that information with the play design, he should make a productive decision. Sometimes a productive decision is earning as little as a yard rather than taking a huge loss. It depends on the development of the play.

In this case, Anderson makes his cut, spots the helmet advancing on the outside shoulder of the left guard, and he sees that his best chance of success is to follow the course of the play inside the guard-center double team. Anderson makes this decision despite the fact that the guard is blocking a different defender who has established an inside presence and can foil this play.

The reasoning behind this decision is based layers of information that Anderson - and most good running backs - have acquired over the years:

1. Bouncing a play outside requires excellent burst and even 300-pound linemen possess enough quicks to prevent a bounce outside.
2. It's more difficult to break tackles as a 200-pound runner with his pads facing the sideline and a 300-pound defender coming downhill.
3. It's easier to gain yardage after contact with the momentum of having one's pads downhill and lower than the oncoming defender.
4. If you break a tackle moving east-west, you still have to get north-south. If you break a tackle moving north-south, you're already gaining yards.

Anderson demonstrates that he has internalized these lessons over the years. Like any back, he'll have errors in judgement that violate one of these points. There are also runners who break these rules and get away with it - not many on a consistent basis who are actively playing in a given year, but enough throughout history to create a long list. Anderson - like 80-90 percent of the runners in this league - has good but not great athleticism, so running by these guidelines is important.

The next step is getting low pad level, driving the legs, and finishing strong.

First down.

This is a quality run according to the design of the play and a it's also a good demonstration of maturity. Anderson did these things well both in practice and the preseason. If he didn't he wouldn't have earned this opportunity. But if any of you have ever performed music, given a speech, acted on stage or film, or played a sport in front of a lot of people, you understand that people can perform well in practice/rehearsal and freeze up or display erratic behavior when the lights come on.

Anderson only had four touches in this game. None of them were bad performances on his part. Three of these touches are what I'd consider "good carries". Here's the best of the lot, an 11-yard gain where he breaks three tackles and demonstrates the skills that lead me to believe he's worth monitoring, if not adding to your roster. 

This is a pistol run where the Broncos will double team the defensive tackle left of the center with the center and guard. Meanwhile, the left tackle seals the backside pursuit of No.98 Brian Orakpo. On the front side of the play, the right tackle will get his pads on defensive end Ryan Kerrigan and then pass him off to the wing back/fullback as he works inside to seal the middle linebacker inside to open a lane at the second level.

Once again, this is a type of play that requires the runner to press the hole one direction and then cut back. Anderson has multiple options to choose from, depending on what he sees with the helmets of the defenders his teammates are blocking. The most likely destination will be the backside tackle and wing back. It means that Anderson will have to win a one-on-one battle with the safety at the right hash.

As Anderson makes the cut, note that the right tackle has successfully moved to the second level to attack the middle linebacker. At the same time, the wing back has a good block on Kerrigan to force the defensive end inside.

Some of you might notice that left side appears to have a huge gap, but the defenders getting blocked on that side have the advantage to shed those blocks. They'll have the advantage of attacking downhill if Anderson opts for a cutback and has to run with his pads towards the sideline before turning the corner to the left flat..

This is the type of error Darren McFadden has made during his career when running zone-blocking schemes. McFadden is much better running gap schemes (traps, counters, sweeps, and power) where his job is to follow one pulling blocker or lead fullback. When given just one crease as his mission, the Raiders' back has the speed, strength, and agility to be a nightmare. Think less creativity, more Hulk-Smash.

As Anderson works outside Kerrigan, he gets his pads low and square to the oncoming safety. "Low man wins" is a football cliche for good reason, especially when the winner is a 5-8, 224-pound runner with his pads over his knees in body position that sprinters call "the drive" phase. This technique generates acceleration and power.

Anderson bursts through the safety and because his pad level is low, he doesn't take the full force of the defender's contact. It also helps Anderson maintain his balance with a minor adjustment of planting his free hand into the turf, maintain his leg drive, and eventually returning to equilibrium. This hand on the ground technique is practiced with "The Balance-Touch Drill". By the way, Rudi Johnson - the player I compared stylistically to Anderson - was excellent at balance-touch running.

 Anderson regains his balance and maintains a low pad level to split the two defenders ahead.

Anderson has the power to drag the two defenders and then twist his way free to earn the first down.

A press and cut, two good examples of drive-phase running, a perfect execution of balance-touch, tree tackles broken, and a first down - that's a formula for a good, 11-yard gain in the fourth quarter of a tight ballgame. It's also a good sign that Anderson should earn another shot to see the field after the bye week.

Anderson might not pan out for fantasy owners this year, but he's building a case for you to monitor his progress.

This Week's Feature Film: "Brown Cleveland"

When the Browns benched Brandon Weeden for Jason Campbell this week, I commented on Twitter that in theory, Campbell is a good fit for his vertical offense Norv Turner has installed in Cleveland. This statement naturally received a lot of dissenting replies on account of Campbell's "Captain Checkdown" moniker earned with the Redskins, Raiders, and Bears. Considering that Campbell has a career yards-per-attempt average of 6.1, my Twitter followers have a great memory.

However, I stood by my statement. 

The reason is that Jason Campbell, when given time, was an good vertical passer. Football fans have to go back to Campbell's days at Auburn to truly see it in action, but the journeyman has a strong arm and good timing on deeper routes despite the data that clouds the view of the game film. I know it's the SEC and not the NFL, but Campbell had a career average of 8.1 yards per attempt, including a senior year where he averaged 10 yards per attempt. 

In this case, the stats meant less than the knowledge that Campbell can throw a good deep ball when given the surrounding talent and time. The Browns have three things working in Campbell's favor: a decent offensive line, a wizened offensive coordinator in the art of the vertical game, and a talented young deep threat. 

The concern for fantasy owners was about that talented receiver Josh Gordon, who has been receiving 10 random drug tests per month and hearing his name mentioned in trade rumors for weeks. On the surface Gordon and Campbell seem as compatible as an on-field pitch-and-catch combo as the idea of pairing Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Lou Diamond Phillips for a project with a major Hollywood studio.

Like Hollywood, perception can change on a dime in football. Sunday against the Chiefs, the duo managed to allay the fears of fantasy owners. The question is whether Gordon's 132-yard, 5-catch, 1-touchdown effort is an indication of things to come with Campbell under center. 

Campbell had an 8.14 yards-per-attempt average against Kansas City on Sunday. The Chiefs blitzed the Browns quarterback often, but they weren't as cocky about playing one safety deep or using zero coverage in the manner that they dared Case Keenum the week prior.

While Campbell performed well against an athletic, aggressive defense, I do have concerns that Gordon's production the rest of the season will be maddening fantasy owners. The reason is rooted in how the Browns got Gordon his targets.

Let's begin with the least frequent scenario I saw Campbell go deep: known passing downs. This is a 3rd-and-seven shotgun set with receivers 2x2 in formation with the tight end playing tight to the right tackle in a two-point stance.

In contrast to the Chiefs' brazen disregard for Case Keenum last week, Kansas City knows that Jason Campbell has proven that he can play quarterback in a real NFL game. They don't dare use a single-high safety as often. At the same time, they are sending six defenders to the pocket so they aren't exactly abandoning their aggressive style. 

Football writers characterize Campbell as a conservative decision maker prone to checking down too early. Not so on this play. If you look above, Davone Bess is actually open on the crossing route beneath the safety. While there's a good chance for Campbell to hit Bess in stride and give the receiver a shot to beat the defender over top to the first down marker, the quarterback has Josh Gordon in his sights one-on-one.

The result, which I don't show, is an incomplete pass. However, Campbell's decision to go deep on this down and distance situation is an anomaly in this game. In fact, you might say it was by design to set up what's to come: Keeping defenses off balance with diagnosing run/pass based on down and distance. 

Here is a 1st-and-10 pass play. You're going to see that a lot of Campbell's intermediate and deep throws came on early downs in this game. The Ravens liked to do this with Joe Flacco during the early phase of his career. One of Baltimore's favorite plays was a deep-out off play action to Derrick Mason on first down. There were two seasons where this was a staple for the Ravens.

There's no play action on this play for Campbell but with good field position and the field spread, the veteran passer doesn't settle for the shallow cross against edge pressure like many would guess.

As Campbell feels the edge pressure collapsing the pocket, he sees that the safety has good position in the middle of the field on the shallow cross. At this point, the quarterback does a good job of climbing the pocket. This forces the safety to slide towards Campbell and free up the crossing route and gives Campbell an open lane to run. It also allows Campbell to remain patient with another route coming open - the intermediate cross.

Campbell climbs the pocket and the safety remains on the shallow cross. Running back Fozzy Whittaker breaks outside to the flat, but this will require a dangerous throw across his body.

Instead, Campbell spots Jordan Cameron and delivers the ball with good form below. 

One of the things that personnel executives liked about Campbell in addition to his height was his fundamental mechanics. He throws a pretty ball and delivers the pass with a high release point. The delivery makes the ball easy for receivers to see. This is not necessary on this play where Campbell is in the open field, but you're going to see this good release point throughout these highlights.

The ball arrives 15 yards down field to Cameron for the first down. Overall, a nice adjustment to pressure and veteran display of patience for a player known to react too fast based on his past yards per attempt statistics. 

Here's another intermediate route on first down.

Campbell looks to the middle to hold the coverage there and gauges the separation that his slot receiver and tight end earn down field.

Former Minnesota Gophers quarterback Marqueis Gray - a deep dynasty player to monitor as a patience play - is crossing underneath, but note that the linebacker has good position to on both the slot man and the tight end in this zone.

Campbell earns a clean pocket against the Chiefs defense that is dropping eight defenders into coverage and hitches twice to give his receiver Gordon time to break inside on the deep dig.

A clean throw, a clean catch, and a first down. Again, good patience against eight men dropping into coverage.

The touchdown pass Campbell throws to Gordon in this game is worth examining on a deeper level. It's one target among of pattern of targets in this game that indicates you shouldn't be sold that the Browns' receiver will remain a top-10 fantasy receiver every week moving forward.

There's a great anecdote from a "30 for 30" film about the Miami Hurricanes football program that involves quarterback Bernie Kosar telling a story about Nebraska's use of the Fumblerooski in the 1983 National Championship game. Kosar said that before the game, Canes' coach Howard Schnellenberger told his team if the Cornhuskers used that play, it meant Nebraska lacked the confidence to match up man on man with Miami.

I'm a fan of gadget plays, but I do understand the argument concerning the psychology behind this train of thought. Watching the Browns' use of Gordon this weekend, there were enough displays of trickery or coordinated effort among receivers that leave me to question how consistent Gordon will be moving forward. This flea flicker is a good example.

 Gordon will do an excellent job of delaying his release and giving his coverage the impression that he's supposed to block at the line of scrimmage.

Notice above that no receivers are heading down hill, except for Greg Little, who is actually slanting inside and attacking the middle to draw the deep safety and ensure Gordon earns single coverage on the opposite side. Definitely a clever play call and the Browns execute it to perfection.

As soon as the runner turns to face the quarterback, Gordon releases inside the corner and sprints up the flat. Look at the size of the pocket for Campbell to operate. These are the conditions where any quarterback with good deep accuracy should be licking his chops. Norv Turner's play call is giving his new starter an added level of comfort.

Campbell begins his drop and set as Gordon begins the drive phase of his stem and works under the corner, sprinting down field. Huge pocket. Single coverage. Pitch and catch.

What I like is that Campbell remains patient. He takes three hitch steps to give his receiver time to get down field and then begins his release. Look at the form Campbell displays here: over the top deliver, front leg forward, and shoulders high. Campbell's body is also arched to deliver a nice high ball for Gordon to run under.

Not a perfect throw, but with this coverage Campbell knows he can err on the side of delivering it short. The result is a touchdown. Good execution of a great play call that tricked the Chiefs. It gave the offense a huge edge to execute a clean deep play without pressure.

Another form of offensive trickery in this game is a common technique seen across the NFL: Rub route combinations or legal picks. This is a variation of the old backyard "cross-cross" play to screen a defender and get a teammate open. The Browns use this to perfection on Campbell's second touchdown pass, a swing pass to Fozzy Whittaker.

Whittaker gets open thanks to Gordon's inside release towards the linebacker. Gordons initial work downfield distracts the defender from taking a good angle on the running back.

Gordon sells this route well, driving hard off the line to the inside and into the path of the linebacker. This allows Whittaker to work to the flat with a lot of separation from the designed coverage.

The inside defender gets caught in Gordon's wash, freeing the running back, and giving Campbell an open lane to throw the football.

With the ball now in the air, the inside defender is still too far inside to make a play on the ball.

It's an easy catch and run for the touchdown. As I mentioned, the rub combinations are commonplace. Here's one from the Denver-Washington game on Sunday involving route massage whore Wes Welker.

Welker is slot left with Demaryius Thomas wide left. Welker will work behind Thomas, who crosses inside to distract the coverage.

Manning is looking to Welker all the way on this play. The slot man hasn't even cleared Thomas and Manning is about to release the ball.

We have ignition . . .

Lift off.

Here's a rub combination from dual crossing routes that helps Gordon earn a 45-yard gain.

I'm not showing the entire play, but you see Bess heading towards Gordon's opponent. Gordon will dip towards the line of scrimmage just enough to attack the football and then turn up the right flat for a long gain up the sideline.

The two biggest plays Gordon made in this game came on a form of trickery. Both of Cleveland's touchdowns were the result of these types of plays. Rub routes aren't gadget plays like a flea flicker, but they require coordinated effort from two offensive players versus multiple defenders to get one player open. The result is that they aren't always the most efficient use of personnel and the risk of earning a penalty for an illegal pick also comes into play.

What will help Gordon's fantasy owners is if Campbell can complete more of these first-down passes in the intermediate range of the field. The fact that they are making several attempts against an aggressive defense like the Chiefs on run downs to keep them off balance is a promising sign. If the Browns try this against Kansas City it should follow suit when Cleveland faces the likes of the Ravens, Steelers, and Bengals down the stretch.

Gordon runs a deep out on this play where two other receivers stretch the seams and a tight end crosses underneath. As you can see, Campbell doesn't have a lot of short options built into this play. Kansas City has seven men close to the line of scrimmage to anticipate run, but they actually drop seven into coverage.

Campbell delivers the ball from a crowded pocket, but is wide of target.

 Yet another first down deep pass to Gordon against seven dropping into coverage . . .

Out of bounds.

Still, I like the aggressive mindset. Even on 2nd and 10, a play where more conservative minds run the ball, Cleveland goes down field. This will likely continue against defenses the ilk of the ones I mentioned above.

 This time, Campbell targets Cameron - a good sign for those of you wondering about their rapport.

 Good extension of the ball on play action. It's something I've been expecting the Browns to do more often on early downs.

 Good hitch, and over the top release with a clean pocket. That's what you get with a solid offensive line and throwing on run downs.

Not a great throw, but a good adjustment by Cameron for the first down.

Based on what I've seen, I'd maintain downgrade Gordon to a boom-bust WR3 despite the fact he's the No.13 fantasy receiver after eight weeks despite the two-week suspension. The strategy appears to be in place for Gordon to produce some big games, but the Bears, Bengals, and Steelers are all capable of generating good pressure up the middle.

This game indicates that the Browns went the extra step to give Campbell a clean pocket to hitch and release downfield. I suspect Campbell needs this cushion a little more than other quarterbacks to deliver accurately in the vertical game.

If Campbell earns this clean pocket 3-4 times in a game and hits once, Gordon thrives as a starter; twice, and Gordon is a fantasy WR1. I just don't feel those odds are great based on the opposition ahead.

However, if your fantasy team's trajectory is pointing towards the postseason, I'd hang onto Gordon as a flex because the Jaguars (Week 13) and Bears (Week 15) allow an excess of 20 fantasy points per game to wide receivers.

I'll keep you posted on their progress over the next two weeks before you have to make a move. 

Fantasy Horoscope: Cowboys Wide REceiver Dez Bryant

According to Stephanie Azaria at The Cosmic Path, here's Bryant's weekly horoscope:

There's never been a more important week for personal transformation. The alchemy that's been brewing in that cauldron is in your case, the expression of your Self. Everything you are is changing, in some cases completely in spite of your Self. If there's ever been a time to be fearless and ready to fly, this is it . . . These past couple of years have been difficult, like being thrashed against the rocks. But then that's how rocks get turned into precious stones. And that's very much what's happened to you. Mercury's activity this week is going to (finally) reveal to you much of this truth. Keep going, because the solar eclipse on Sunday brings a revelation that fuels your engine.

I don't need a horoscope to tell you that Dez Bryant has done a great deal of maturing as young man and a football player. Last year was a fine indication based on what was reported with changes to his on and off-field habits. Like most people with age, common sense, and understanding that football is a competitive sport that requires a ton of physical, mental, and emotional energy, Bryant's yelling to me is a non-issue.

ESPN's crew covered the range of opinion well. Chris Berman took the standard, old-school, paternalistic approach. Tom Jackson fell in line with the partner who helped make his broadcast career. Loyalty counts for something.

Keyshawn Johnson gave the more extreme view of the player apologist. Cris Carter waffled, which I understand. He was aware he'd be a hypocrite if he didn't admit to some degree that he had a reputation as a locker room lawyer. And Mike Ditka cracked a joke, knowing no one would take him - Coach Tantrum - seriously for bashing anyone in football for showing emotion.

What I enjoyed most were the reactions of Steve Young, Trent Dilfer, and Ray Lewis. All three thought the reaction to Dez Bryant's actions was unnecessary. All three gave anecdotes about being on the giving or receiving end of these types of emotions in the heat of battle. All three appreciated Bryant's passion to win. None of them said Bryant handled it perfectly, but none of them saw it as a significant negative about Bryant as a professional.

Maturation is a process. Bryant traveled a long way in a short time. I suspect this reaction from the public will only light a flame under Bryant on the field. I feel sorry for Minnesota. Expect seven catches, 125 yards, and two touchdowns this weekend.

Unless of course, you traded away the wide receiver for showing a passion to win in an emotionally demanding sport. The same fiery behavior that I've seen on the sidelines for nearly 40 years of professional football.

Ask Tom Brady.