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Hi Folks,
We do a lot of really insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with some very smart people thinking deeply for you. This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots and it’s a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I keep relatively sane. Here's hoping it has a tiny bit of value for you.
We’ll see how it goes. Let’s get to it.
J
Here's something cool.
Kansas City defensive back Eric Berry with his first* interception.
* First as in first since he's back after recovering from Hodgkins lymphoma. Rock on, Eric Berry.
Are you way more into Football than any other sport? Then this is for you.
And yes, I get it. This column is not exclusively football.
In fact, here's my Baseball note of the week. Look who the Mets had ready in the bullpen Tuesday night...
This Football Officiating is a tough business.
New York's Cullen Jenkins uses Darren McFadden to take out the official as Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie scored with a pick six.
Stefon Diggs. You're kind of ridiculous.
Yes Fantasy Owners, Tom Coughlin and Rashad Jennings hate you.
Shocking how coaches and players care more about their team winning then they do our Fantasy Teams...
Are you one of those guys into which player wore what number? Then here's a pretty cool picture.
It's one opinion on the greatest player to wear each number. Some are pretty intresting.
If you have an hour to click through the THIRTY THREE PAGE SLIDESHOW, you can see more detail on all the players they selected here.
While I'm on it, zillion page slideshows so the website can pump up their page views make Spock emotional.
Commercial of the Week. For years, India's Ambuja Cement has used the tagline of "Giant Compressive Strength". Which made a natural tie with India's most famous wrestler, The Great Khali.
More of Tom Brady winning on and off the field.
But while I'm on Brady. Listen to Tony.
God Bless... Bay Area Fan.
And more non (American) Football stuff. The Soccer Note of the week features Bayern Munich's Douglas Costa with a sweet move.
My favorite part is the artcile from Esquire calling it the "Dirtiest (which means "great / awesome / sweet / sick" for your old timers) Move In Soccer History" with the subtitle of "Douglas Costa is a bad, bad man"
"He has incredibly quick feet when moving laterally, and the way that he shimmies and knocks the ball past Arsenal's Hector Bellerin in this clip from yesterday's Champions League match, sending the fullback flying the wrong way, is enough to take your breath away."
Easy, Guy.
Last week I wrote
Tell me that dude does not look like a Ninja Turtle...
I mentioned how this Star Wars stuff was Serious Business. Right on cue, the emails came flooding in telling me in no uncertain terms that the "dude" not only did not look like a Ninja Turtle. but that she was a girl. According to "Wookieepedia" (I'm not making that up), her name is Rey. And make sure to note, this is Rey, the Jakku scavenger. Not Rei, the Nagai guardsman. Easy rookie mistake to make.
"Rey[2] was a human female scavenger[3] who conducted her trade on the world of Jakku[4] approximately thirty years after the Battle of Endor.[5] She dressed in tan, ragged clothes, including a scarf around her head and a visor[1]—once part of a stormtrooper's helmet[6]—covered with sand.[1] She owned a landspeeder which she relied on for quick transportation.[7]"
Two things.
1. Back off. "Dudes" and "Guys" can both be female. We have tons of women readers who are Footballguys.
2. Ok. I really just had that one thing.
Interesting bit of smack talk before the Jets - Patriots game Sunday. The New England team Twitter account posted this on Thursday.
Once people started noticing, the team deleted the tweet. But we all know nothing is really deleted on the internet. What's interesting is that the site that chose to repost the tweet the team wanted deleted was NFL.com. Post DeflateGate tension? Or all just part of a WWE style manufactured drama? We'll never know...
Here's another difference between Baseball and Football.
Football referees don't put up with a lot of "discussion".
It's different in baseball.
Although baseball umps run their share of players and managers. In fact, I'd guess a lot more baseball players are ejected each year compared to football players. So maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. No, I'm quite sure I don't know what I'm talking about. That's pretty much the whole point of this column.
Seattle's Ricardo Lockette delivered a ridiculously late hit drawinng a dumb penalty. Kevin Pierre-Louis and Steven Terrell responded with the Bow of Shame.
Marshawn Lynch responded on the sidelines...
That's not really why Lynch threw up. But it works for my story.
If my Buddy Matt Cox could be the Head Ball Coach, every player would be well versed in this move.
Cam Newton continues to win.
This week his cereal obsession was revealed.
“Lucky Charms. Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Snaps. Frosted Flakes. Pops. Apple Jacks. I’m a cereal connoisseur. There’s nothing somebody can tell me about cereal that I haven’t indulged in myself.”
'Newton enjoys cereal on ordinary occasions, too, like when he can’t sleep. Or when he wants to relax. Or when he’s hungry for a snack, which, as a 6-foot-5, 245-pound athlete, happens frequently. “I invest so much in cereal,” he says in the way other people might talk about the stock market. “But it’s happiness for me. Of course, you gotta have the extras—like the extra marshmallows; chocolate milk for the Cocoa Puffs to make it extra chocolaty.”
Seinfeld flashback for you Old Timers.
Texans quarterback Ryan Mallett missed the chartered team flight from Houston to Miami. Mallet had to catch a commercial flight later in the day.
This wound up being the last straw for Houston and they released him Tuesday. Getting fired on your day off is another topic but my first thought was I would have loved to been in the seat next to Mallet on the commercial flight to Miami.
"So, what takes you to Miami?..."
The Wikipedia Updates came soonafter.
As my Buddy (and Arkansas fan) Clayton Gray says, "Mallett gonna Mallett".
File this under "Things I'd Rather Not See".
On second thought, maybe I would.
That's pretty fun.
When people ask me what I do, I tell them I write articles with Peyton Manning and Dirk Nowitzki's heads pasted on old guys running a 40 yard dash.
Most respond like Anderson.
I opened the column last week saying Random Shots in one video is probably something like Mike Ditka delivering his best "line" of the week...
On Sunday Morning Countdown, the crew wasted no time in addressing the allegations...
"Live audio during last week's Monday Night Countdown show picked up a sound that had social media buzzing," the network announced in a press release late Thursday. "Did legendary Hall-of-Famer Mike Ditka fart on live television? In a comedic search for the truth, Countdown impressionist Frank Caliendo investigates."
Nice.
Bills Players, Buffalo Media and even Jim Kelly have already jumped on the Anti Rex Ryan bandwagon.
This is an accelerated schedule for Ryan as usually the grousing doesn't start until Week 12 of the first season.
For me, he gets an entire year of grace just for the Madden Movie part.
You Go, Lil' Pepper.
They've got Tom Coughlin carrying out the trash now...
San Diego running back Melvin Gordon wasn't expected to play Sunday.
He did wind up playing and seeing fewer rushes than Brandon Oliver. Funny how that ankle always seems to worsen the more one fumbles...
Jason Garrett needs one more win to tie Jimmy Johnson for second on the all-time Cowboys win list with 44.
Tom Landry is fairly safe in first place with 250.
This surprised me that Garrett and Johnson were almost even. Goes to show the power of post season wins.
Rainy Miami.
I'm not saying Matt Ryan's a vampire. But I'm not going to any sleepovers at his house...
Julian Edelman makes a lot of money.
Julian Edelman earns a lot of money.
It's almost never a good thing when your field goal kicker is spotting the ball on the midfield logo...
Oh Cleveland...
You knew this was coming. Tom Brady gets the Drake Cellphone treatment.
Coaching is coaching. Whether it's High School or the NFL. When a player makes a big mistake, you slide up next to him and let him know you're there. It's kind of like being a friend.
Cole Beasley's a pretty regular receiver. And Derek Dooley's a regular coach. Neither are making the Hall of Fame. But both are doing their parts. It's how it works on the field and how it works in life.
Who's ready for the NBA? Cam Newton's ready for the NBA.
Stephen A. Smith said Jay Gruden's handling of Robert Griffin III wasn't just suspect. It was SUSPECT.
Kirk Cousins had some words for his doubters after leading Washington back for a 4th quarter win. Click the picture or click here to see the video.
Thanks to Footballguy Mark Levine for that one.
I know it's a Team Game. And Tom Brady will be the first to say that. But he's doing a lot for the Patriots...
We all saw Greg Hardy knock the clip board out of the coaches hand on the sideline Sunday.
It's Greg Hardy. If the sideline thing surprised you, you haven't been paying attention.
Maybe this should be just as unsurprising, but the Cowboys bungling of this is bordering on comical. Starting from the top. Jerry Jones was asked about the incident.
Reporter: "What was your take on Greg getting involved in the special teams huddle. Having a push and shove contest there?"
Jerry Jones: “He’s of course, one of the real leaders on this team. And he earns it. He earns it with the respect from all of his teammates. And that’s the kind of thing that inspires. I don’t know if you watched him warm up out there but he was inspirational in his method of warming up”.
I could write a bunch of stuff. But the woman's face in this picture says it way better.
Greg Hardy after the game at least was smart enough not to say any more.
What a mess. If only we'd seen something like this coming...
Thanks to Footballguy Don Clayton for the help with that one.
Steve "Money" Spagnuolo.
Adrian Peterson gave us plenty to worry about Saturday night as he was reported to be "ill" and downgraded to Questionable on the Injury Report. Some reports had him sick from bad shellfish. Others said he swallowed tobacco while dipping and that was the cause.
Peterson denied the tobacco story.
Then went on to impress reporters...
On a serious note - please don't dip. I may not know you but if you're reading this I think of you as a friend. And as a friend, please don't.
We're getting close to Halloween. And one Browns fan has turned his yard into a Cleveland QB Graveyard.
I'm with Dr. Evil.
One more baseball note. Former player Lenny Dystra revealed that as a player he hired private investigators to dig up damaging information on umpires to give himself an advantage.
Dyktra said, “I said ‘I need these umpires,’ so what do I do? I just pulled a half-million bucks out and hired a private investigation team. Their blood is just as red as ours. Some of them like women, some of them like men, some of them gamble. Some of them do whatever … It wasn’t a coincidence do you think that I led the league in walks the next two years, was it? Fear does a lot to a man.
‘Hey, so did you cover last night?’ He called a strike. ‘Oh I don’t think you heard me. Did you cover the spread last night?'”
Here's what I want to know though. Who designed the set so the guest sits on a couch off to the side and Cowherd sits on the Tron Keyboard Host Throne? You know something's amiss when the video has to split screen to see both guys in the same room.
Buffalo quarterback E.J. Manuel became the first NFL QB to lose a game in three countries. Because I know you guys need to know that kind of stuff.
Headline out of Oakland Tuesday.
Aging Charles Woodson Keeps Asking To Turn Up Sideline’s Heaters
"SAN DIEGO—Estimating the temperature near the bench to be at least 85 degrees, both players and coaches on the Oakland Raiders expressed their frustration Sunday over veteran safety Charles Woodson repeatedly asking to turn up the heaters on the sideline. “It must be 70 degrees out right now, but he keeps complaining about how nippy it is and asking to bring the heaters closer to him,” said Raiders wide receiver Amari Cooper, adding that Woodson has also been wrapping himself in blankets on the bench in order to avoid “catching a chill.” “And if we don’t turn the heat up right away, he keeps coughing and looking at us to get our attention. This is ridiculous—we’re all sweating our asses off out here.” At press time, Woodson had told teammates that it was simply too drafty out and went back into the locker room."
God Bless The Onion.
And be nice to old people.
Wrapping up with this one.
Which is really just a flimsy excuse to post one of the best three and a half minutes in the history of cinema.
That'll do it for this week, Folks. Thanks to Footballguys Doug Drinen, Clayton Gray, Keith Overton, Stephen Parker, Jeff Haseley, John Di Filippo, Steve Fisher, Brian Sumner, Andrew Garda and Frank Nolte for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at bryant@footballguys.com.
Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.
Peace and Grace to you.
J